Ok. Ok. Ok. I CAN DO THIS.

All righty then. I have been so busy/distracted/forgetful/I-just-suck-at-this-crap and haven't posted in a while. I am so very very sorry. I hope all of you lurkers forgive me as I have not posted anything even remotely entertaining in the last few......weeks. I apologize. So I have resolved to become a better blogger. In the immortal words of Allie Brosch (I probably misspelled that last bit but hey she's the author of the blog Hyperbole and A Half), BLOG ALL THE THINGS! Ok I'm done.

Summer Adventure Number Uno!

Well, I did most of the adventuring, as you can see in the chart/diagram thingy above. Now, some general explanation and/or storytelling. Actually, I prefer storytelling so....STORY TIME.

Our adventure begins on a dark and........quiet night. Our hero, moi, was sitting in her room, on the verge of being bored to death. But then! Lo and behold a text from her faithful sidekick, and buddy, Katlind (aka Katlinda the Amish!) buzzed through the boredom induced coma and saved her. Katlind proposed that our hero spend the day and the following night at her place of residence. Our heroine considered this for a few moments, however then Katlind said that they would go to either the lake or the pool. Bree jumped at the chance!

The next day, Bree arrived at Katlind's place of residence and after a joyous celebration they then proceeded on the long, hard trek to the pool. They traveled through miles of wilderness, ok it was more like half a mile of woods and road, to reach the pool. As they were about to gain entrance the evil villian Pool Douche stopped them. Pool Douche condescendingly forced them back and away from the sought after pool, and our weary travelers had to begin another voyage to the lake. After much suffering and hardship and fighting through the creepers, they arrived at the lake! There was much frolicking about and...so on and so forth.

In other words, we had a great time and we got tan/sunburnt. We are no longer pale creatures of the night! That deserves its own party. Now, UNTIL NEXT TIME! Summer adventures shall continue to appear.....when you least expect them.

I'm BACK! But not in black....in purple, actually.

So, my rather miserable and extended absence from my wonderful blog and wonderful readers (I know you lurkers are out there) was....well miserable and far too long. I have missed the internet and all it's glorious and intelligent commentary! Ok, well not ALL of it is intelligent....in fact most of it is about cats, but I have missed them too! Anyway, this post is not a REAL post. Those will come later. Like, there will be colorful posts, posts full of shapes, posts full of lines and words, and posts about things I ought to tell you that I could not while I was away. All of it will be rather exciting, trust me on this. I love all of you, and to prove it, I gave you all that picture of a flying giraffe.

World History is Important

Once upon a time, in a school far, far away (it really depends on where you live) there was a time. A time when I actually shared a class with one of my best friends. We had not shared a class since 6th grade and were excited to know that we had World History together. I was excited, "World History is important!", I had thought. I was right. My dear friend, Sarah, and I sat on opposite sides of the class, by the end of the year her side had become the Side-that-always-dies side, this did not matter. No matter how many times she was killed in a plague or a war, we always met up in the middle of the room.

This is the story of just how awesome those meet ups could be. One day me and Sarah met up in the middle of the classroom and just started talking. She was excited that she....that she....Oh, I forgot....but she was excited about something! Anywho, we were chatting along when she had become overwhelmed by the urge to dance her dance of happy. It is a spectacular bout of flailing that can only be done correctly by her. She waves her arms and jumps up and down by repeatedly switching from foot to foot. It makes me laugh.

In this period of time we were laughing about something else I do not remember and she started to dance. This of course pushed us farther into our laughing fit. Then, suddenly, the teacher who had been out of the class the entire time copying papers had returned! And had seen EVERYTHING. The resulting confrontation went like this....I am beginning to hate my laptop for it does not let the pictures and the text share. They must learn how to share! Well, the picture was supposed to be below this, but I hope you get the idea.

Then the teacher smiled while I was trying not to laugh, which was not working out, and just walked back to his desk. We then gave each other looks worthy of CIA agents. Not sure if that made sense, but the translation is that we communicated lots with looks of epic...ness. After we had recovered from the last bout of laughing we then sat down and I thought again, "World History is indeed very important.". For it had allowed me to learn how to...be a totally awesome dancer. Take that to prom!

The Quest for the Golden Funyuns

So Today, whist in french class, I was pondering many a deep profound, life changing thoughts. Such as: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? And what is the weight of a single grain of sand? And how much it sucks to be sick. You know you hardly ever get sick when you say, "Man, I wish I could be sick today.", but it doesn't happen and then you get sick two weeks later, miss something important, realize that you either have to stay in bed for three days or go to school and bitch about it the whole time, but either way you crawl back home and get all hyped up on coca cola and exclaim, "I NEVER WANT TO GET SICK AGAIN!". Well...that's just in my expirience.

Back to the point, however. Whist I was pondering those aformentioned deep and highly profound thoughts, my darling friend Katlind invited me to go on an adventure. I, of course, readily accepted this adventure, nay, this quest, as pondering was getting rather old. We set off immiediately on our periless journey full of danger, evil teachers, and...wind. It was all very dramatic, trust me. We had set off on a course for one of Katlind's teachers room. When we arrived we had found that her teacher had been KIDNAPPED. Ok, he was actually just out to lunch or something, but go with me on this. So instead of getting him to break her five dollar bill (Did I mention that? No? Oh well.) we instead left an elaborate series of notes.


After we had accomplished that we trudged on to the dreaded cafeteria. We then cautiously approached the first teacher we saw and asked him for the magic spell to break the magical five dollar bill! Alas, he did not know the spell. So we then approached another teacher. She did not have the spell but she intead had five one dollar bills! We rejoiced with much flailing. Katlind then proceeded to hand me the one dollar bill "that looked like it had spent the most time in a stripper's underwear" and I rejoiced once again.

Before we returned to the classroom we stopped at the vending machines, our true destination, and spied the mystical GOLDEN FUNYUNS. Katlind carefully gained access to them through use of a dollar and a complex code system. We returned to the classroom, with our loot in tow, and entered as the victorious students we were. After Katlind had opened the bag of golden deliciousness, my friend Caitlin heard me speak of my blog. She then asked to be mentioned. Obviously this has been accomplished.

FIN.

No loves.

So all my friend's apparently have seemed to have lost their phones in a violent and phone-deadly explosion.

<----- Like this.

Ok, so maybe not really. But I would rather have that happen than me not getting a conversation with them outside of school. But I digress....actually I don't because I have absolutely no clue what that means. Does anyone know what that phrase mean? Oh well.

Anyway. I got really excited today because I got to sign my friend's gauze cast....thingy. It was the most challenging part of my day. I WAS TRIUMPHANT. The gauzey ace bandage type thing on his foot now bears a giant smiley and "McBreezies" because that is my nickname in real life. After that we all had a wicked pizza party. Well maybe not a PARTY, per se, but I did eat pizza with my friends whilst discussing dyeing my hair a color that may match my prom dress. I'm still attempting to figure out if that would be a great thing.

I totally got off topic, didn't I? Oh well, that is what this blog is about. Again if you do not like it then talk to the all knowing EAGLE. Ahhh....I love that thing. Hey! He does get loves. So maybe this thing didn't get so off topic after all.

Blankets and Pictures

No, not pretty IN pictures but pretty AND pictures. Two entirely different things. So I decided that I am going to try and post often and make this thing pretty and awesome. And yea....stuff like that. I am also going to force you guys to submit to my questionable drawing skills and hope you like them (that wasn't really a request).

To let you know that a lot of my posts will probably take place in a situation like the picture that was supposed to be here. Wait no, I mean...

HERE

Anyway, that picture is me. In the dark of my room. On the bed, gazingly lovingly at the internets provided by my laptop. Okay, maybe not LOVINGLY but you get the idea. Yes, I am still trying to figure out how this thing works and it isn't going well but I SHALL PREVAIL. Or fail epically. Whatever comes first. So earlier today I was laying on my couch and then I felt a mist of water. I looked around and spotted my Dad with the spray bottle. I looked at him with challenge in my eyes and he then raised the bottle again. The game was on. Before he could spritz the hated instrument again I valiantly tried to cover my head with the blanket I was using and....I failed.

I then lay there twisted in an odd contortion of the human body's natural angles and then as I was about to say something incredibly profound. Something life alteringly amazing. I said, "Why does this blanket smell like pears?". I then realized my mishap and looked around and realized that this was normal and I really didn't care and laughed. That was the high point of my day....that and watching some Eddie Izzard.